good, bad, ugly: more places to be.

link haze!

THE GOOD:
Tyler Durden's 8 Rules of Innovation. seriously brilliant & fun way of saying the usual stuff. i love Brian Clark for writing this. give it a read, even if you have no idea what Fight Club is. and if you do, well, you shouldn't be talking about it. and if you're on that kick, seriously, check out this awesome Fight Club kinetic typography. here and here.

THE BAD:
when will hair care people get it through their heads. WASHING MY HAIR does NOT give me--and i doubt any other women--orgasms. not Herbal Essences, not VO5. so just stop already. i want to know what moron thought that picking it up for VO5 would somehow make it more true. or is THAT why you guys thinking we take forever in the shower?!

also, 4 cheerleaders just taught me, courtesy of HungryMan, that "fuck" stands for "fornicate under consent of the king." i did not know this. but you can know this. [turns out i'm not stupider than marketing cheerleaders. it's not true. see comments.] check out the cheerleaders' series, i'm referring to the ep called "f**k." verdict still out on the campaign, though. i mean, it works for men, and that's the target, so i guess it's good? hat tip to adrants.

THE UGLY:
apparently, in the election, it all comes down to Halloween masks, ever since Reagan. the tricky thing this time around? of course, as usual, it's all about Palin. how-to costumes are popping up all over the internet, with tips galore. don't forget the gun, the baby, and of course, the glasses. UPDATE! "The GOP tells her what to say... now you can too!" -- pa.lindro.me speech creator.

we need to chat about kissing girls.

found via Dear Jane Sample. click to view source and Katy Perry's obnoxious video.

i am not even going to get into the religious aspect of this. no. instead i'm going to bitch about the song. i'll grant you it's catchy. but i'll tell you why the church is afraid for your daughter's heterosexuality. it has nothing to do with 'catching lesbianism' and everything to do with going to an all girls' school. don't believe me? clearly you've never dated, or had a friend date, a Catholic school girl. sucks for you.

this song is not about reveling in the awesomeness of kissing some femme wonder. it's about getting "rebel cred." even if you don't know any other words to the song, you know the chorus: i kissed a girl and i liked it / the taste of her cherry chap stick / i kissed a girl just to try it / hope my boyfriend don't mind it.

a) it assumes that kissing a girl is just some fun thing to do on the side--while you are busy being respectable and having a boyfriend. no boyfriend?! OMG. you're such a LEZZIE. having the boyfriend element in the song makes kissing a girl "okay." especially when she's unimportant--after all, you're drunk and just met her, you "don't even know [her] name."

b) so we've already got heterosexuality down while remaining cool by dismissing people who are actually homosexual. after all, it doesn't mean you're "in love tonight"--it's just something to do. "it's no big deal, it's innocent." we'll just go back to being hetero in 5 mins. that okay with you honey? oh good. go get me a coca cola.

c) "it's not what good girls do." OOOOOH REBEL! that's right. mommy and daddy will hate you, the church will condemn you, your boyfriend will think it's hot, and tomorrow you can pull an Anne Heche about how 'crazy' you went. it'll all be okay by 3pm and you can laugh about the Facebook pictures and talk about Lindsay Lohan.

in short i think that contrary to opening up possibilities of alternate sexuality in mainstream pop culture, it instead reinforces the fact that alternate sexualities are just a 'game' that can be elected to be acted on--or not--and that we should all return to our regularly scheduled hetero programming.

this does not lift up homosexual--or hell, even bisexual--women as a theme song. even if it were a man singing about kissing a girl, it's terrible. it's too derogatory to the rest of the situation, especially the girl the narrator is kissing. it's certainly not enticing you, or your daughter, to go date girls. if anything, it's trained on the "male gaze" and acting out for it, emphasizing that "oh shit did i just make out with that girl in front of you--oops!" moment that drunk chicks get. so congrats to them. they get one more hit to fall down on the floor to. so rest assured. you have nothing to fear for her heterosexuality. you may want to watch that socolime intake, though.

and if i have to hear that girls are MAGICAL one more time i will fucking vomit. what is that word. seriously. magical? that's for unicorns and My Little Ponies and movies like Legend.

Facebook facelift reveals a shift

well, it's official. like i said. facebook is no longer about the college age demographic. it shed that skin last night. it's leaving the 13-25 scene to Myspace with a firm kick and something like 'good riddance!'

it seems that by forcing all users to upgrade to the new, streamlined layout, the new projected image is supposed to be more professional, and as a friend pointed out, certainly more viable for marketing opportunities. add to that the new iPhone app and then tell me how many people in the 13-25 age range you know that own an iPhone--and well, you get the idea.

expanding its target to gain traction with a wider age range of users, making it more media viable, and adding support to items like the iPhone, only further go to show that Facebook isn't really interested in helping you connect to your friends any more.

you see, you only have so many friends, really, and they want more users than that. so the tag line on the new, improved home page has moved from the "people around you" controversy to "people in your life"--even that person you WoWed with 3 years ago in South Africa. i guess now it's okay to "make new friends." especially if they're out of school and make/spend money.

UPDATE 10.02 via Darryl Ohrt: now supported by stats from Matt Dickman. seems we were having similar thoughts.

funny after 5: i can haz bailot?

it's new, but i'm sure it will get even funnier. keep your eye on icanhazbailout.com, because as their banner says, "we're fucked, and it's funny." i'm not sure i agree.

but for moment to moment feelings surrounding the bailout and the economy, look at twistori's election aggregator here. and if for some reason you have absolutely no idea what's going on, there's always The Economic Collapse for Hipsters, a For-Dummies-esque look at whatthefuck is going on.

while you're at it, get your sassy, savvy, snarky hipster on with two of my fave non-ad-related blogs, Public School Intelligentsia and Hipster Runoff.

good use of ad placement.

YES. YES YES YES.

very rarely do i find an ad placement that absolutely works.
but this absolutely works.

relevant? CHECK. Myspace users are totally the type who may be interested in seeing Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist when it comes out. actually, i intend to.

placement? CHECK. Myspace, having just launched Myspace Music which enables you to put not just 1 profile song but a whole playlist, showcases N&N's Playlist ad above YOUR playlist on your homepage.

was there an ad above your single song player before? no.
do you HAVE to upgrade to a multi-player? NO!

the ad comes with the upgrade, and if the ad continues to be this relevant, if the ads continue at all, then i have absolutely zero problem with them. nice tie-in. kudos. i'm a fan.

"quietly" pissing me off, Verizon.

Verizon has done the unthinkable. they've succeeding in pissing me off. mind you, i love(d?) Verizon. a devout Verizon advocate and recommender type. swear by Verizon's service in the NY area.

Dear Verizon,

Verizon, you suck right now. you suck for "quietly shutting down" sms txt confirmation from vzw to vzw customers.

i first noticed this september 18th and no one could tell me why i wasn't getting my little delivery notifications. and i certainly wasn't notified. nor asked--far be it.

don't you THINK that MAYBE if you're going to remove a feature that we're all used to having you MIGHT want to run that BY US?! or TELL me or something. i don't care if it saves you 1KB each way. we paid for that inclusion and now we're paying the same amount but get one less feature.

more over, there are unconfirmed rumours that it's so it can be a paid-for add-on feature. uh. why don't you just allow people who don't give a shit, of which there are quite a few, to opt-out? rather than removing it from those of us who care and are paying for it already?

how much more money is going to be wasted now that i have to ask if someone's received my txt? or do i sit in wait, wondering if i'm being ignored, or if it's a Verizon fuckup, or if their phone is off?

OKAY i know that sounds silly and teenager or something but i swear it's not. it's actually a big deal to a lot of us. especially my gen when half our lives are spent texting and half the benefit of being on Verizon is that all our friends are on Verizon so we know when we're talking to one another.

i heard that so many people complained that they're turning it back on October 1st. can anyone confirm or deny this? i'm trying to find out. i want my check marks back.

UPDATE: my Verizon rep, Cain (Kane?), tells me that delivery messages will NOT be returning October 1st. they WILL be phased out indefinitely in due course; apparently the phase out is 'on pause' right now. there is NO truth to the $1.99/mo rumour. this is what i'm told, anyway. i requested updates and made suggestions.

UPDATE 2 [next day]: 1: Cain/Kane, the service rep, just called me back. that's awesome in and of itself. yay customer service! to tell me that 2: Verizon WILL be giving SMS delivery confirmation messaging back as of tomorrow to the cancelled sectors. so many people complained that they decided 1KB wasn't worth it, i guess.

get a Mac and get laid. or get Myspace.

according to Mingle2, you are more likely to get laid by more people if you: own a Mac, are female, are a blogger, are into golf, drink, go commando, are a conservative, gay, don't play video games, use Myspace, and not "very religious." probably not all those things together though. apparently you get bonus points if you're from Mobile, AL. see all the stats here. contribute and be a statistic here (it's mercifully short).

it's 100% free. unlike most online dating services. so if you need a little help, there's an idea. Mingle2 is also doing some pretty clever promotions by making Digg-able facets to the site that're worthy of sharing, like Top 10 Reasons it Would Rule to Date a Unicorn (thanks @leighhouse) and 9 Reasons Not to Date a T-Rex. i enjoy the asteroids. disclosure: i have not used, nor do i intend to use, this service. the unicorns and macs just made me giggle. cheers to your weekends!

if you like Gaping Void...

in honor of my taking my younger brother to AnimeFest tomorrow looking like this, i am showering you with gifts of cartoons. [settle down, anime kids, i know anime is not manga is not cartoon, but, that's about as much as i know about anime.]

if you like cartoons drawn on the back of business cards, you may also enjoy toothpaste for dinner, which was passed on to me by my wicked awesome boss. and it that's not enough cartoon for one day, i want to tell you about My Adnormal Life, which is this really awesome project.

no really. click to see funnies on :15 spots and how clients deal with creative thought.

friday felines: engineering cats.

clearly, engineers have too much time on their hands. clearly.
maybe they should work in advertising. but then there'd be less of these videos.

An Engineer's Guide to Cats


courtesy @mtartag.

somethin' about the way garyvee says douchebag

...just makes me feel all aflutter inside.



i found this via @TDefren's new post. in this video, Gary Vaynerchuk talks about passion and patience.

which is funny, considering both have the same Latin root, pati, meaning "to suffer." [HOL reference for you there, kids <3]

which is to say, garyvee [it just rolls so nicely, i have to type it like that] believes that if you don't like what you do--not even a little--STOP. just STOP. and do SOMETHING ELSE. even if that thing is smurfs. me, i don't buy into the monetization of a smurf blog, but hell, i believe him, and his Pinot Grigio Hour. that's where the passion comes in. life is too short to be doing something you hate. yadda yadda motivational speech.

[hey does it sound like that stuff your generation sold my generation and now you want to take it back because we all think we're genuinely entitled to that Pursuit of Happiness? i thought so--but there's a catch.]

yeah, that patience thing, which has to do with that suffering thing i mentioned earlier. "how do i monetize my new Smurf Empire?" you may ask, and he answers: by doing some serious damage between the hours of 7pm and 2am, before you pass out, go to work, take an hour break to "kiss the dog," and do it all over again. so that you still have to go to work. to make the money. to do serious damage. to make your new Empire.

i'm not at all belittling garyvee's view. i think it's powerful, poignant, and necessary. its passion is inspiring and the message is spot-on. but i've also heard it before.

i think that, reading between the lines, it's also a message that requires you to keep that passion when you're up until 2am working on the new Empire, have barely seen family or friends, and still aren't so keen on the job you're spending 8-10 hours of daylight on. the message is to feel like he does on that stage, only every morning. and i think that's the hardest part. not just saying "I Quit!" as Audience Man #1 did, but sticking out the suck for the better ahead.

not the interest, not the late night Empire, and not the years of development.
but keeping the passion, and acquiring the patience, through those times of suffering.

make (out) face time.

okay, you win. you found me out. secretly, i'm an optimist parading as a realist. and these ads totally appeal to me. that's right, i said it. i love the new Dentyne ads.

do i chew Dentyne? no.
will i switch to Dentyne? no.
do i like Orbit's advertising? no.

well, you can't win them all. i get the strategy: you're gonna need wonderfully fresh breath to get that close "face time" with anyone, be it a whisper or a kiss. and you know what? they're right. i always carry a pack of gum with me. always.

(in fact, it used to be Dentyne. i can't tell you what changed, but now i only buy Orbit. how's that for advertising i hate. i could really do without the Orbit lady. the only one i ever liked was when Orbit "cleaned up a dirty mouth" and the couple was fighting; one called the other a "lint licker." anyway. i'm sure to switch it must have been a friend recommendation.)

way to know your target market. i wonder if post-30 chew anywhere near as much gum as 10-25. anyone have stats for me? plus, the relevancy is easy to relate to, especially when so many of us manage real-life interactions online (even if it's to arrange a face meetup). the push to Get Off the Internet is nostalgic (for my gen, anyway!) and cute. it definitely speaks to me, in the same way that Unplug Your Friends functioned.

PETA panties not in a twist

talk about shitty vetting, especially considering PETA hasn't shied away from making political references: PETA's new nude ad sports Aya Sugimoto, a Japanese singer/actress/erotic novel author.

problem? she still sports leather because "leather production is different from fur production."

this sort of thing just further goes to show that the I'd Rather Go Naked campaign is really on its way out. i just don't think it's authentic to PETA any more. the shock value has worn off and it's become yet another mildly-safe-for-work-ad where folks can look at ladybits in the name of some cause, when it won't actually get folks to stop buying fur (or leather).

i think if they moved more in a direction akin to the "political" ad--that is, something that's intriguing, humourous, yet somehow informative, that would be a better solution. it's like Supersize Me. you can tell folks for ever and ever that fast food isn't good for you. but if you show the video, if you make them understand in an image, that impact is more profound than any celeb "star power" you can throw at me.

then again, i have an intellect over that of a horny 13 year old.

more signage: truth in advertising.

but is it advertising if it's an artistic satire on advertising?
i suppose it is... it's got big logos. courtesy of @johnny_bones.

mta error in penn station; or, graphic design fail.

how many times have you New Yorkers seen that sign standing in front of the train board in Penn Station, waiting for your track to show? how many of you have actually thought about it?

we studied it for a good twenty minutes yesterday. this is what my family has arrived at as some of the possible meanings:

"are you a boy? girl? ...umbrella?"
"can you please tell me the sex of this umbrella?"
"maybe this umbrella will help you."
"might you need an umbrella?"
"bathrooms and umbrellas possibly this way."
"ask question, receive umbrella."

we wound up asking the train conductor, who told us what the sign was actually for. i'll enlighten you tomorrow. please comment with your own creative musings. i look forward to your umbrellas.

friday felines: hi-YAH!

not feeling up to par today, so all the entires i would have written will get to you by monday. in the meanwhile. if you haven't already seen this, you're missing out. i laugh. really really hard. every time.

you, too, can be a talentless rockstar.

news in the gaming world. or at least in the pseudo-gaming world, because it seems the only game i know almost every plays is Guitar Hero and/or Rock Band. so that is to what i am specifically referring.

in case you couldn't master Guitar Hero, what with all the pressing of buttons, you can instead slide things. @irockiroll pointed this gem out to me: Guitar Hero for DJs, officially sanctioned. it'll bring me back to my high school and college days for sure.

in the realm of Rock Band, they're taking it to The Next Level. they're turning the amps to 11. you heard right. they sold their souls to MTV and now there's going to be a reality tv show. the guy who did the Apprentice and Survivor is going to make you eat the undersides of barstools until you make enough to play in a dive.

just kidding. i hope.

update!!! update worthy of three, count 'em three, exclamation points. ! [ok four]. MTV has no more music. that's it. it's over. my teenage life is over. for ever. what happened. where are my music videos. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

twitter: 'you may as well not have existed.'

thx @awolk (also here).

i'm not sure what the meta-message should be here. apparently people are highly dedicated to twitter, but we knew that already. i particularly enjoy the third verse, where it moves to make fun of twitter users in a tongue-in-cheek way, because though we're "refined" we still have to "validate each other" in our insecurities and talk about new gadgets. maybe that's because i'm a cynic like that, haha.

if anything, this kind of points out that we're still in an echo chamber. the geeks (hand raise) that will sit there and make or watch this kind of video, find it funny (because we have awesome senses of humour), blog it (raise hand), tweet it, etc, are those folks who're sitting on twitter doing exactly those things: talking about gadgets, social media, and everyone who isn't yet on twitter but should be.

[so if you're not... get on that?]

porn and the search engine showdown

Google is on its game, with two shiny toys:
Google News, which enables you to search newspaper archives online [because you know, the interwebs will make newspapers extinct, until they're fossilized and preserved here] and Google Labs' Audio Indexing, which you must admit is pretty sweet, be it looking up the lyrics to Chocolate Rain or finding out what exactly the politician said during that speech or other [as it's currently being used for].

MarketingVox points out a new trend that Bill Tancer of global research at Hitwise discovered when analyzing the search engine data: millenials aren't so interested in porn anymore, compared to previous numbers. they're spending more time searching social media networks. wait.

you're telling me folks are less into porn because they're wasting time on facebook?

no no no, kind sirs. it's because they're busy finding porn on facebook, myspace, etc. don't get me wrong. i'm not saying there's actual porn on facebook. after all, they did take down pics of breasts. but the difference is proximity. you have no chance with Ms Giselle of whatever porn site. but you might actually get a chance to make porn with that girl you haven't talked to since sophomore year of high school.

in other SEO news, there's the Search Engine Rap Battle. i don't even have words.

funny after 5: web2.0

web2.0 will eat your life. if it hasn't already. need a how-to guide?

1] acquire a suitably stupid, cute-sounding nonsense name; this will help [after all, everything else has already been registered]

2] get a web 2.0 logo, properly reflective of course with the shiny "transparent disclaimer" BETA stamp

3] decide wtf you're in BETA for, then make a press release full of 2.0 bullshit and some other buzzworthy bullcrap.

and you thought this would be hard.

because pigs are trademarked, duh.

"If you've been on planet Earth in the last 24 hours, you've probably heard the phrase "If you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig" more times than you can count. Well, we at PETA would like to put our own spin on this phrase and let everyone know that there should never be any real reason for lipstick on a pig unless it's because you've just given a pig a big kiss for being so darn cute." see more here.

i think, despite its political nature, that this approach is a good one for PETA. i actually wished they had thought of it before people decided to get up in arms over mammals in lipstick, metaphorically speaking (because we all know the GOP has a monopoly on the animal kingdom in rouge).

something that never quite made sense to me was the laborious use of half-naked women against animal cruelty. i mean, i get the shock value, and like anything else, if sex sells, why not use it to sell something worthwhile, like animal rights? i get that. but i didn't get what naked women had to DO with making me concerned about animals.

these kinds of ads, showing (in this case) pigs as loveable cuddle mongers in a near-grotesque Cosmopolitan socialite mask goes straight to the heart of the matter much more clearly. at least if you feel animals should be saved out of cuteness, and let's face it, cute is in. look at the news.

and if you're really still that heartless, check out the bacon links i've found. because apparently bacon is the new penguin. but really, check out the bacon flowchart (wtf?). okay. so where's the bacon flavored lipstick?

the good, the bad, and the ugly, deux.

other places to be. 1) because it's 9/11 and i'm sad and inarticulate. 2) because i was just on a three hour conference call. 3) because all lists need at least 3 things.

THE GOOD
if you thought Blue Oyster Cult was better with cowbell, you have NO IDEA. now, you can bring a little Walken into any situation. that's right, i said it. i have a fever and the only prescription is MoreCowbell.dj. and if you think your friends are funny, they are even funnier in 140 characters. so says ChoiceShirts, a spiffy company now promoting a tee shirt widget. you can get anything your friend said on a tee shirt with ChoiceTweets.

THE BAD
dear Miriam decides that she'll stick to mechanics rather than touch advising a woman about her cross-dressing husband. also--i am late on this, sorry, but Dane Cook is too funny at addressing this photoshop disaster.

THE UGLY
why did the chicken cross the road? Political Disgust answers. and if you need more disgusting politics... nah, i'm sure you know where to find all that.

thou shalt give me a panda.

or, an alternate title: Facebook, not nearly enough glitter.

this seems like a Facebook week, clearly, between the threat of impending homogenization of our wall/feeds and the inability to control the fact that they will now be indexed with Google. so, because i'm in such a PEACHY mood*, i will offer up this funny about the social network deity:

The 10 Commandments of Facebook.

it's actually really funny and worth the read. i enjoy:
4. Thou Shalt Not Use A Wall As A Private Messaging Function
6. Thou Shalt Not Use Stupid Apps
[aka, "How do I know which fart app is right for me?"]
7. Thou Shalt Not Give “Gifts”
[aka, "What does all of this crap have in common? I don't want any of it. (Except that Chinese paper lantern. That looks nice.)"]
If you want to give me a “gift” of some kind - like a butterfly, a pink striped thong, or an adorable panda - give it to me in real life.
Yes, you heard me: give me a panda in real life.

as soon as the ad world offers me something more interesting to comment on, i will stop talking about Facebook. promise. want to change it? send me a tip. i'm tired of Facebook, too. but with everyone talking about either Seinfeld/Gates or Sarah Palin... well, i try not eat the low hanging fruit unless i have a gift from the tree of Wisdom.

*[in other news: i'm in a good mood because i passed my road test! don't hate. i never needed a license before, due to NYC public transport, college campus smallness, and generous high school friends. this is a big accomplishment for me, and i'm really happy. one thing to check off my 43 things list. i suppose i can add 'extend list to 43' while i'm at it.]

who said advertising was creative?

on a non-Facebook related note, things over here are just silly.

how about a riddle? what's the difference between a pit bull--oh, you've heard that one already. okay. how about what's the difference between a production company and an agency?

...yeah, i don't know either.

i think one's supposed to be smarter or something, or some word like strategic, maybe, but that's another s-word and i may be confused. i do have to say life's been so much easier now that i don't have to think. i just receive... and resend...

it's like a that nightmare where you realize your target market and your client are one in the same. and then you wake up and realize it wasn't a nightmare. and it happens every day.

but i do have quite a lovely little well of creative ideas that will never be used. i like to admire it from across the hall, even stare at it longingly. my CD and i are in mourning.

more facebook suckage. users? what?

FACEBOOK WAKE UP.

you are no longer about the end user.
it's becoming more and more evident as you slight your users.
and your users LOVE you. and your users want to HELP you.
but you are making it increasingly difficult.
yet another reason why: opening the gate to the walled garden.*
*i will address this further a little ways down. feel free to scroll to the star.

since yesterday alone, when the threat appeared, 120,974 more people joined the petition against the new facebook layout. and now there are even more groups. i was going to link to all of them, but there are too many. i'm over 20 groups, with thousands of members apiece, and i'm only at page 5 of the group search. my favourites thus far are "i miss the old me" and "i hate the [...] stalker layout."

you are clearly making it easier for advertisers to utilize facebook in the new layout. i also get that you're trying to "grow with your users" as the college age kids enter the job market--and that's cool, sort of. it's sleek, more organized, and trying to be more relevant. no argument there. the redesign was not a bad idea. i just feel like more PR could have been done surrounding users' concerns other than a blog post or two. users are feeling slighted in favour of The Business.

i already briefly talked about why i'm not keen on the redesign, but the other part is something ReadWriteWeb points out: "as Facebook becomes less of a place for them to hang out and more of a tool for networking in the business sense of the word, the cleaner design and additional controls make sense." Facebook isn't about business. it's about fun. did we lose that somewhere between when it started as a college networking site and now when it's trying to become LinkedIn?

because that's what marketers are interested in.
[and sure, that rocks for 'us' professionals, but if you USE Facebook, this is just lame.]

*and now Google is being allowed to search and index parts of Facebook. namely groups, discussions, wall posts, and events--you know, sites of interaction. i'm sure my alma mater will LOVE knowing when the next big kegger is going down--if they hadn't sorted it out by trolling the book already. not to mention if you ever wanted to NOT be a part of that ridiculous group you joined in high school, TOO BAD. you're internet-linked to it for life. CONGRATS!

WHERE ARE MY NEW PRIVACY FEATURES TO MATCH!?
you seem to be selling me a whole lot more than you're helping me. that's dangerous for you.

[sidenote: i already realize Google owns more of my life than anyone else short of the government; that's my choice using blogger, gmail, etc. i may not have a lot to lose through this index, but i'm betting a lot of the kids who use it will in the future unless everyone above shifts prerogatives about what the internet is and means to incoming generations. on principle i am against it.]

bloodsucking a dead horse

no lies here. the True Blood campaign has been freaking awesome. props to Campfire.

but after all the ramp-up excitement, i'm sad to say that marketing can't do everything (though it can help to make it seem really cool). i watched the premiere last night. and hated every minute. anyone want to argue? i'd love to find some merit. especially because i really, really WANTED to like it. i did.

between the wicked campaign and the fact that i've been digesting vamp novels since i was a tween [LJ Smith, Laurell K Hamilton, Anne Rice, etc], i thought that this show might have a different spin or something new to offer the age old vampire conversation. should have known better.

if it's not a girl torn between a werewolf and a vampire,
it's a girl in love with a vampire, who becomes one.

YAWN.
and here i thought i was going to get some modern interpretation, something about the sociological repercussions of vampirism, the involvement of the TruBlood drink, i don't know, something BIGGER or MORE INTERESTING than the first episode implies. plus, the writing was actually quite bad. oh, and if i have to stare at the gap between Paquin's teeth any longer, i may put out my own eyes. because i know that no one has dental in the south. clearly.

didn't watch it? here's an abbreviation:
vampire porn. two people talking. vampire porn. some violence. four people talking. vampire porn. a bit more violence. and no, it didn't close with vampire porn, but that's just a small favour. but thanks for the shock value, HBO, i know i appreciate it.

facebook is threatening me

IT WILL SOON BE. THE ONLY. FACEBOOK.
you will submit. you will use The New Layout. you will not Protest. all Complaints will be Futile. Press 3 to Assimilate Now.

facebook, srsly. wtf are you thinking?

never mind that i bloody HATE the new facebook to the assured point that if you make me convert to the new layout, i will use it less, and i'm sure i'm not alone in that. hullo. you don't pay us. we bring value to you by even being there. why alienate? regardless. this is beside the point. it's also simply tactically stupid.

if you want to make the new facebook layout the One True Facebook [cue "there can only be oooooone!"], why did you allow for this random period where users could opt-in and select to use the new Facebook or not? ok, maybe as a beta test it works, but then CALL IT A BETA TEST. not being up front about it not only makes users cranky, but leads us to believe that we do not HAVE to switch.

even when faced with the idea that we would have to surrender Ye Olde Facebooke, users petitioned and created groups to let Facebook know that we are not into the new layout. 691,269 members are actively against the new layout. but not only that, we gave shitloads of feedback about how to improve new Facebook to be equally useful so we wouldn't mind the switch. i haven't seen one thing really change. not one. this makes users who actively participate in creatively critical, useful ways feel inadequate and undervalued.

in this 20 minute extraordinarily long defense, Facebook says they're listening. i'm just not sure i buy it.
so what i mean to say is, the actual way it occurred gives a poor impression.

clearly, Facebook can operate with both layouts at once. why not keep this? if the new Fbook is SO wonderful, then naturally users will gravitate to it. i'm not saying to get RID of the new fbook; some people like it, that's cool. but why force users who aren't so keen? users could keep the layout they prefer. moreover, since the new Fbook resembles other sites (like FriendFeed, for example) than its own unique entity, it may also lead to further creativity--different skins would be fun.

in short, i'm not taking this threat lightly. and that's just what it feels like.
you aren't helping me connect--unless by that you mean, helping me connect forehead to monitor.

the good, the bad, and the ugly. other places to be.

link haze; things i don't have time to comment on, since i'm actually doing work on a friday, like you should be, haha. ;)

THE GOOD
just some random funny stuff i found... Unplug Your Friends made me smile, and also made me look up Get Off the Internet by Le Tigre on songza. Listen here. and if you need to get out of a not-so-hot date tonight but don't have the balls, there's always the coward's way out: Get MOOH [get me out of here!]. oh, and lastly, am&a's Reverie Apparel is clearing inventory; 2for1 sale, check it out.

THE BAD
i am not at all touching on Palin's politics here, suffice to say i disagree; that's my prerogative, and you can have yours, that's cool. i don't care what it is so long as you VOTE. regardless. i am floored that, above all else, she wanted to ban books. 1984 anyone? oh, and while we're on the topic, Heart isn't so fond of Palin's... musical choices.

THE UGLY
as if you couldn't tell from my post about Twittad, i am tired of people hijacking some other people's stuff. for more blatant ripoff fun, check out You Thought We Wouldn't Notice, a fave blog of mine for some time.

friday felines: revenge on the pocket pony.

just when you thought it was safe, pocket pony, you up and ruined it for everyone.

and if that isn't enough kitty giggles for your friday, the PSI explain how LOLcats can save the world. and you thought world-saving had something to do with cheerleaders, didn't you? shows what you know.

[disclosure: i was/am a Heroes fanatic.]

skewering women to save sharks

it's times like these that Riot's feminisms (that's right, plural, people) are at war with one another. [and if you're not sure the difference in the mindset of different 'waves' of feminism, drop me a line--i'd be happy to explain.]

the stunt at hand: Lush, a company i admittedly love [bring me those massage bars!], was raising awareness on behalf of Sea Shepheard about the hacking of shark fins to make soup [among other things].

at first, the ad-Riot says, okay, this is pretty sweet. using a skin pull, also called suspension, to attract attention from passers-by and draw the parallel that animal folks are into: "animals are people too." not dissing that. the performance artist, Alice Newstead, hung for fifteen minutes.

old-school second-wave college feminist Riot rebukes with, what the fuck is that shite? excellent. let's replace mutilated sharks with mutilated women. that's a brilliant statement. because what's better than information? a half-naked woman giving said information. duh! it only propagates objectification of women, and while that's almost forgivable by corporate slime, progressive groups should know better, or at least think harder. [aka: this is the feminist "external view" or appropriation of the gaze]

post/third wave real world feminist Riot retorts with, whatthefuckever, it's performance art. which is to say, Alice was not in pain, consented, views it as art, for a good cause, and it made her happy to do so. not to mention she had the balls to get those piercings in the first place, and probably did her fair share of skin pulls prior. which is to say: it's her own damn choice and don't put your politics on her beyond that which she is stating: stop cutting up sharks. [aka: the feminist "internal view" or, 'what makes a given female happy is inherently feminist for her']

[i always tend to go toward my third wave views, but the college breeding always makes me feel guilty for it... i hear my Womens101 prof in my head as she rants in disbelief over how i felt classic nudes were not always objectifications. ohhh well.]

anyway. cool and controversial. always a plus in the wondrous world of ads. via.

hijacked! twitter ads, stupidity vs intellect.

interesting thing landed in my twitterbox this morning. (why did that sound dirty?) @ischafer, of Deep Focus, pointed out this mashable article in which Twittad (...that also sounds dirty) debuted.

Twittad is an online account-auctioning service which functions as the go-between for users looking to monetize their twitter accounts and those willing to buy the impressions of those accounts' followers. skeezy? i'll let you decide. thing of it is, it may smack of familiarity. and it should. since Ian did it for a good cause last May.

but rather than have charity involved, this is just another experiment into how to monetize, cashify, etc the social media sphere (twitter in particular). does that make it worse? some people argued that when discussing adapting the SocialVibe platform to non-charity based advertising, and there may be something to it.

regardless.

there are a few big differences between Twittad's approach and Ian's approach other than the charitable aspect. and this is the heart of the matter:

1. Ian is awesome.
ok. well, that's subjective, but the point is relevant. Ian has a following of cultlike proportions (again perhaps i exaggerate a little). he has things to say that people want to read. he is likable, relevant, and has 700+ followers (as of today; when he did this in May, it was less, but still in the multiple hundreds). he has an understanding of social media to ensure authentic, useful usage of the account during the duration of the sponsorship. and promised 8-10 outbound tweets/day.
...TWITTAD ERROR: it is hard for a sponsor to be sure that the user of the account being purchased is as insightful, conscientious, and influential.

2. his followers have a higher probability of awesome.
you know what you're getting when you buy his space. he has the ears and eyes of many professional elite from the marketing, advertising, and journalism realms, among others i'm sure. you know exactly what target your message is getting sent to and how apt they are to be viewing the advertisement of the sponsor.
...TWITTAD ERROR: if the purchased account's followers are not of a particular target, demographic, or, well, anything, you may risk shouting into the wind; you also are unsure of the level of interaction those followers have with the sponsored account.

3. you are assuming followers give a shit.
as a social media guru, people were interested in Ian's experiment. it was intriguing, charitable, and unique. as Dude A college junior needing $16 for laundry, i'm not sure i care about what you're advertising. moreover, the major downfall of Twittad is that it only gives a profile image (not the usericon). any user of twitter knows that you rarely visit a person's actual profile page. you're busy looking at your feed, often through other second hand apps, like Twhirl. if there are any real impressions to be had, it would be through the usericon.
...TWITTAD ERROR: fail, for the aforementioned reason. almost nobody goes to a person's profile page. unless it's a new follower you may want to follow back. or a funny profile you sometimes click to but don't actually follow, like @chucknorris or @FakeSarahPalin.

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so in short, Ian did it first, did it better. then again, many of the selling twitter accounts are going for pretty cheap. is this more of a get-what-you-pay-for mentality? banner ads 2.0 anybody?