my first Facebook breakup. there's a point.

so, being a digital native has certainly made breakups more awkward. i know this has been touched on, especially with regards to the "surprise" breakup, where you log in and suddenly you're not in a relationship. oops!

...that's not what happened to me.
i was one of the original Facebookers. my college was one of the first 50, i think, if not less. this recent relationship was very long. it was the first one to be recorded by Facebook in my life, and now the first to go, it's evident how Facebook is changing relationships.

we actually had to have a Facebook Conversation. we broke up. does that mean we unFacebook each other right away? is it so important that we leave one another's presence and, to properly lifestream, we do it the same day?

...or do we wait a few days? to affect our own nonchalance. or because we don't want to talk about it. or in case we do that strange thing where we break up and get back together. better just not to change it until we're sure, right?

yes, i really did have that conversation.
apparently, Facebook is the measure of just how official my relationship is.
[can i get a "fucked up"?]

we Facebook broke up five days after our actual breakup. it was my decision. i woke up this morning thinking, you know what, it's time to Facebook it. it sucked. moreover, what was even weirder?

it lists my ex as "In a Relationship" as the new status.
apparently when i "Cancal a Relationship" [because it's a transaction, you know: "you never give away your heart; you lend it from time to time. if it were not so, how could we take it back without asking?" -- winterson] i only cancel it on my end. i'm single. the ex is "In a Relationship" with no one, but since it's a new listing, it gets broadcast like it's a new relationship.

...really, really awkward.
not to mention if i hadn't Facebook-stalked my ex right away and noticed this error, i likely would have been hella fuckin' pissed when i noticed in three days. and now i have to go text my ex to warn that i did it, so it doesn't look like a jab. or before weird phonecalls start coming about the New Relationship.

but my question: where is the broken heart?


theregoesdave said...

Sorry to hear that. When my ex and I broke up, we had been working together and our entire office heard about it on Facebook.

I wonder if this means they got rid of the broken heart or whether they're just holding onto it until he 'affirms the cancellation of your transactions.'

the girl Riot™ said...

hahaha. like "Transaction Cancalled--but here's your cancellation prize." consolation? cancellation? oddly similar sounds.

Anonymous said...

Wow riot, you are a better person then me. When I break up ... I break up - all contact get's cut right away. I just need a clean break right away so I can get over it faster. I find it reduces the mopping by a few weeks.
And the shitty thing about facebook is that you can stalk your ex a lot easier and obsess over who is writing on his wall and whose pictures he's in ... ugh.

Anonymous said...

There was an article in Wired about how to make a Facebook breakup less obvious. Good stuff.