because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely.

a new installment of Funny After 5... for last minute giggles.

at first, my new favourite blog for distractions (The Daily Digresser) brought this little gem up in the left hand column and it was a total throwback to zombie week, where Jane and i told you that you needed at least 37 zombie plans to survive working in an ad agency. but in case you gave in and decided zombie plans aren't for you--maybe you're just keen on becoming a zombie--well then, my friends, eternity doesn't have to be so lonely. for you, there is www.zombiEharmony.com.

what's that you say? you yourself are not a zombie? ...are you even undead? maybe you're one of those pansy Twilight fans who wish you had a werewolf and a vampire to swoon over. that's okay, there's a site for you, too. from Campfire, the folks behind HBO's TruBlood campaign, there's the vampire dating microsite, dedicated to hooking blood dolls up with their dream vamps. g'head, go get Lovebitten, at least more than you already do via SuperPoke on Facebook.

[friendly warning: if you do sign up, be sure to give accurate thought to your screenname.]

badass, more badass, and badasser II

badass: i updated my blog roll to reflect what i'm actually reading, which meant saying goodbye to a few and adding on these 5: Does it Sell Stuff?; The Ad Contrarian; The Brief; The Social Path; and Dave Trott. in truth, i haven't read Dave's yet, but he comes on recommendation, so i'm starting. any others you want to bring to my attention?

more badass: courtesy of @ryanatmghwom, snap bracelets are making a come back. don't tell me you forgot about that bit of childhood goodness. only this time, they're USB enabled. ...yeah.

badasser: you thought that promoting fake blood on behalf of a new HBO show was badass (well it is). but try being even more ghettofabulous. pimp my ride, you say? close. try Pimp My Kettle. oh yeah, baby. that tricked out kettle is selling noodles all over your block.

and a parting gift, for those of us who have a slightly different definition of badass:
geeky badassness: the joker as ronald mcdonald. eat your advertising hearts out. this is the only time ronald has ever been hot.

[previous badasses here]

Yeas & Nays: IV

found here, re: greyhound stabbing here
Riot saith: NAY!
okay, so, i'm sure for all humourous purposes, this advertisement has surfaced. i would imagine, and from the look of it assume, that the ad came out before the stabbing. (i really, really hope so.) it's almost in bad taste to show it, if only because it makes me make that groaning noise. for those of you who don't know, a sleeping person on a Canadian Greyhound was stabbed in the throat and decapitated with a hunting knife on a bus full of people. what's Greyhound doing about it? not enough, Jaffe says, and i have to agree. on another note, the advertisement is pretty shitty, regardless of timeliness. i haven't heard of "car rage" either, and both buses and cars (and trucks and hummers) all use roads. 'nuff said.

TIGS, re: gorillas, chimps, ads, primates
Riot saith: YEA!
as if you didn't already know, Faris is wicked awesome. his post, linked above, catalogues something we all learned in 3rd grade and forgot: "they may not remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel." that was supposed to teach us to be nice to one another. and even if advertising isn't exactly about being nice, it is about emotional response. i would like to see an effective ad that appeals not at all to any emotions--in an unironic way. the more and more i think about advertising, the more and more i come to realize that the youth injection is important. folks have got to stop thinking like marketers and remember that they're people, and relearn those things that made them people in the first place.

doesitsellstuff, re: social media
Riot saith: YEA!
i love stumbling across blogs that make me want to redo my entire blogroll (which i will be getting around to doing, there are some much needed additions). this is one such blog. Scott Sigler chronicles social media campaigns and their effectiveness in really interesting ways; the ways that make you actually want to spend time reading it all. and it is really, really interesting. i forget how i stumbled across it but i'm very glad that i did. his blog's subhead reads: "A look at case studies of companies using Social Media to, well, sell stuff. Forget theory - does it add to a company's bottom line, or is it all just a waste of money?" if you're into social and strategic planning, check him out.

you didn't want that finger, did you?

world's best warning sign evarr, found here, where this spiffy author Shaun has a possible living pic of the Montauk Monster as his user icon. okay, i'm a liar. he has nothing to do with the Montauk Monster. i think his user icon is actually two meercats spooning. check it out. he says some clever stuff, too.

on that note, i'm going to go vacation on Fire Island until sunday. you kids don't get too drunk without me. oh--and if you are the sort who thinks "don't touch that" really is reverse psychology for "please touch that" and you wound up without a finger--check out this youtube video for The Kelly Affair with a drag queen cannibal. it's a badass song by Be Your Own Pet based on the cult film Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. cheers!

as promised. Likkr lizenz ... DNI'D!

in this week's installment of Friday Felines, i am sending you over to the List Gods. okay, they're not really gods. they're a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than make lists with usually no more than 4-6 items on them. what kind of a list is that, i ask you? not an action list, that's for sure!

from here, Selected Minutes From Lolcat City Council Meetings:

We'z on ur lawn, fynin' ur i sor.

I can haz lodin' zone?

Stait'z in r skoolz, jerrymandrin' r diztrix!

I haz angree at skaytborderz!

We'z in ur biz, surchin' 4 bak taxz.

Y r kidz duso por on standrdiz'd testz? I blaymz skoolz!

Likkr lizenz ... DNI'D!

in truth, the funniest i've found of these lists has nothing to do with cats. and i won't get into the fact that the above list actually uses pretty shitty lolcatspeak (if an invented language can have rules--oh wait it can). what i actually mean when i say i love you: 30 scenarios. c'mon, own up: which of those have you said in subtitles? i know i'm guilty of:

-I approve of your behavior at this moment.
-I know you need assurances that I feel the same way about you.
-That is the exact CD I wanted to hear.

felines later. don draper now.

i'm busy at work on deadline (friday deadlines ftw!), but this made my morning, so i'm sharing. i'll get around to feline friday later today. xxo!

What Would Don Draper Do?

"I don't care. I'm a white male. Election results don't affect me."

relevant ads are relevant?

"If you have an ad that is relevant, you are more likely to pay attention," said Juenger.

really? you think so? you mean ads can be funny... or inspiring... or have a good soundtrack... or generally try and notify us of things we may actually need? ...you mean people haven't entirely lost all interest in trying to spend money? you mean that possibly, just maybe, good advertising is... good? well-targeted? dare i say relevant? nofuckingshit.

but in case you needed a case study to tell you something you could have probably deduced (that the :30 isn't going anywhere, that people watch good advertising, and that like everything else as we move forward, it's about relevancy) then you can read this TiVo study. have fun.

[note: no offense to the blog. studies like this just never cease to amaze me. because what's worse than the deductions is that someone is sitting on a conference room asking for these supportive stats. hello. you watch tv. you are a consumer. what do you do? it slays me when people stop acting like people and become marketers 24/7.]