on that live-streaming suicide...

some people found the whole thing repulsive, some folks blamed social media, but i just got really depressed and decided to watch PuppyCam after reading an article on it. after reading David's post, i decided i did want to talk about it.

i don't think it's about the fact that it was online, really. he was depressed from the outset. being online didn't make him more depressed. i really think being in a chat room didn't make him more or less likely to commit suicide. he seemed pretty intent on that, anyway. he talked about how he was going to do it, just as many people tend to do beforehand. in fact, it just seems like many other teen suicides:

"I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am not good enough for her."

and i don't mean that in a belittling way. as some of you know, i'm a major supporter of To Write Love on Her Arms, which is a charity in support of getting people help who deal with suicide, depression, and self-mutilation, among other aspects (you can donate via PayPal here). he loved a girl and didn't love himself enough (or didn't get enough love through relationships, hat tip to @mtartag) to discover whether or not he was 'good enough for her.' and that just makes my heart hurt.

i think perhaps it was executed on justin.tv mainly as a last act of attention, of a version of love-seeking. i think the intent here was different, and in some way intriguing (after all, i favourited it on twitter), when @anniemal said "if I'm going to die, I'm going to broadcast it. I'm not going out without an audience."

and yet, the heart of it isn't the broadcast. it's just bringing it to your attention because so many eyes are on it. for once, you don't have to die alone. you can die with a thousand people watching. you are not alone. but you need to tell the kids that before they die. the take-home message isn't ban social media, but instead reach out and help them. it's in your face. don't you think it's time to believe this isn't some "stupid teen thing"?

"But love is the answer to a question That I've forgotten But I know I've been asked And the answer has got to be love." - Regina Spektor <3

PS: another effort in loving your fellow stranger, brought to you by zoomdoggle. check it out.