it's Monday & i feel like complaining.

i'm not one for complaining.
no really, i'm not. i may be cutting and snarky about shortcomings of things, but very rarely am i actually discontented and willing to chew your ear off about it. but in this case, as i'm procrastinating more substantive posts, i feel like complaining.

i just went to the bathroom (congrats, i know). i walk in and the toilet... oh well hold on and let me explain. i work in a small agency. 2 bathrooms. 1 assumed as "men," the other "women," mainly due to placement of urinal. now. there are more men here than women (shockerrr!) and sometimes the men use the ladies' bathroom because their own esta occupado. i'm all for gender fluidity. so whatever. problem? put the goddamn toilet seat down. don't pee all over the place. or if you have to, clean it the fuck up, gents, cos i'm not your mommy and i don't feel like it.

that being said, because of this i cannot attribute this morning's bathroom issue to male or female. all are suspect. bottom line? if you take a crap, flush. wait. maybe flush again out of courtesy. because Monday morning i don't want to see a ring from the unflushed crap lying there after a whole weekend of fermentation. thank you. and i approve this message.

it is hard to get back into daily blogging. i didn't think it would be. i mainly blame this on the copious amount of braincells my fever killed. because i don't think i lacked opinions for a whole week (as i now have 8 posts in the docket). now that i'm back on my "A Game" (ha!) a few things have come to my attention and remind me of my own stupidity:

the Obama logo--there was an O in it? fuck me. i must be lame. i feel just like i did when i realized there was an arrow in FedEx. on another O note--i can't look at the Overstock logo without thinking of Oprah.

secondly, most of you know i'm an Alice in Wonderland obsessive. my VHS broke like 6 years ago and my Disney copy has long since gone unwatched because of it. i don't know why i don't have a DVD copy. it only dawned on my stupid ass yesterday that i could watch it online. yeah, i'm a winner. social media ftw.

i suppose this is a good thing, because sometimes my ego and self confidence is larger than my body weight. it's humbling to realize i'm still as stupid as i ever was. rock on.


WAIT HERE LET ME SUMMARIZE IT FOR YOU: 40 minutes close up shots of two peoples' faces saying trite lines that are supposed to make me connect with the INTENSE DEEP EMOTIONS in their eyes. another 40 minutes of bullshit filler where we meet people who suddenly become friends for no reason.

and then the rest of the godforsaken 2 hour movie is composed of a sparkly-faced man trying to save some chick's ass. but the only worthwhile part--the fight scene--is quick and anticlimactic, 20 mins at best. please blow some more shit up because it's boring me to tears.

i realize that for fans of the books the movie may have been better, because you read the story and know innately, in that way you can recite, exactly what Bella and Edward were "saying" during those scenes where to me it just looks like they're eye-fucking each other. but for me, it was just tedious and lame. i can has money back nao? for a funnier, more accurate summary of the movie, check out this guy.


Jared Smith said...

I just noticed the arrow about a month or two ago. Slapped my forehead in "that is pure genius" and "how the hell did I miss that?!?"

shaun. said...

it is genius. the arrow. design genius.