it's Monday & i feel like complaining.

i'm not one for complaining.
no really, i'm not. i may be cutting and snarky about shortcomings of things, but very rarely am i actually discontented and willing to chew your ear off about it. but in this case, as i'm procrastinating more substantive posts, i feel like complaining.

1. RESPECT VS AGENCY BATHROOMS.
i just went to the bathroom (congrats, i know). i walk in and the toilet... oh well hold on and let me explain. i work in a small agency. 2 bathrooms. 1 assumed as "men," the other "women," mainly due to placement of urinal. now. there are more men here than women (shockerrr!) and sometimes the men use the ladies' bathroom because their own esta occupado. i'm all for gender fluidity. so whatever. problem? put the goddamn toilet seat down. don't pee all over the place. or if you have to, clean it the fuck up, gents, cos i'm not your mommy and i don't feel like it.

that being said, because of this i cannot attribute this morning's bathroom issue to male or female. all are suspect. bottom line? if you take a crap, flush. wait. maybe flush again out of courtesy. because Monday morning i don't want to see a ring from the unflushed crap lying there after a whole weekend of fermentation. thank you. and i approve this message.

2. POST ANXIETY & FEELING LIKE A DUMBASS
it is hard to get back into daily blogging. i didn't think it would be. i mainly blame this on the copious amount of braincells my fever killed. because i don't think i lacked opinions for a whole week (as i now have 8 posts in the docket). now that i'm back on my "A Game" (ha!) a few things have come to my attention and remind me of my own stupidity:

the Obama logo--there was an O in it? fuck me. i must be lame. i feel just like i did when i realized there was an arrow in FedEx. on another O note--i can't look at the Overstock logo without thinking of Oprah.

secondly, most of you know i'm an Alice in Wonderland obsessive. my VHS broke like 6 years ago and my Disney copy has long since gone unwatched because of it. i don't know why i don't have a DVD copy. it only dawned on my stupid ass yesterday that i could watch it online. yeah, i'm a winner. social media ftw.

i suppose this is a good thing, because sometimes my ego and self confidence is larger than my body weight. it's humbling to realize i'm still as stupid as i ever was. rock on.

3. TWILIGHT: A WASTE OF $27

WAIT HERE LET ME SUMMARIZE IT FOR YOU: 40 minutes close up shots of two peoples' faces saying trite lines that are supposed to make me connect with the INTENSE DEEP EMOTIONS in their eyes. another 40 minutes of bullshit filler where we meet people who suddenly become friends for no reason.

and then the rest of the godforsaken 2 hour movie is composed of a sparkly-faced man trying to save some chick's ass. but the only worthwhile part--the fight scene--is quick and anticlimactic, 20 mins at best. please blow some more shit up because it's boring me to tears.

i realize that for fans of the books the movie may have been better, because you read the story and know innately, in that way you can recite, exactly what Bella and Edward were "saying" during those scenes where to me it just looks like they're eye-fucking each other. but for me, it was just tedious and lame. i can has money back nao? for a funnier, more accurate summary of the movie, check out this guy.

transparency in movies, blackberry

wouldn't it be cool if there were transparency in movie posters? ok, so you'd never know what it was about, what actors were in it, what genre it is, or if you could take your little brother to it--but can you tell what you were being subliminally sold through product placement? YOU BETCHA! [haha] and let's be honest, product placement is what really matters otherwise everything would still be low-budget.

apparently, Ocean's 11 may be responsible for my purchasing habits or brand emotions regarding: Apple, Dr. Pepper, HBO, Ketel One, and Tropicana. see how these movies may have influenced you; check out the awesome posters spotlighting Ocean's 11, Dark Knight, Iron Man, the Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill 1, and The Bourne Ultimatum here.

on another note somewhat, i think the hype created by the new Blackberry Storm commercials is pretty sweet. and i don't even like Blackberry. but you know what would be sweeter? Blackberry owning up to its "crackberry" name and doing a series of spots a la Trainspotting. hell yeah. see the infamous baby crawling on the ceiling withdrawal scene here, youtoubed for your pleasure.

friday... zombies?

i am #suspending "friday felines" for today in honour of developments in the subculture of zombies. as you know from previous distractions, humans have an uncanny interest in zombies. so i give you the above, Zombies in Plain English. why, might you ask? BECAUSE if you are in NYC this weekend, you will be in GRAVE DANGER. there is going to be a zombie takeover. if you plan on being dead, you can surely take part. so get on that. or at least have a zombie movie marathon.

[want more zombies? see previous, zombie, posts.]

good use of ad placement.

YES. YES YES YES.

very rarely do i find an ad placement that absolutely works.
but this absolutely works.

relevant? CHECK. Myspace users are totally the type who may be interested in seeing Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist when it comes out. actually, i intend to.

placement? CHECK. Myspace, having just launched Myspace Music which enables you to put not just 1 profile song but a whole playlist, showcases N&N's Playlist ad above YOUR playlist on your homepage.

was there an ad above your single song player before? no.
do you HAVE to upgrade to a multi-player? NO!

the ad comes with the upgrade, and if the ad continues to be this relevant, if the ads continue at all, then i have absolutely zero problem with them. nice tie-in. kudos. i'm a fan.

hate hate: keira knightley. & boobs.

alright, i don't hate boobs. but i do hate keira knightley. her poor excuse, stoic, mouth-acting has ruined every single period piece film for the past half a decade (i won't get into star wars or pirates). and the only historic one she didn't corrupt was overrun with her twin natalie portman.

but, as Adrants has pointed out, keira did something maybe kinda halfway decent (arguably for the first time). she declined post-production touch-ups to enhance her breasts for the collateral on the new movie The Duchess. and you know what? i'm more than okay with that. dare i say i wish other actresses would follow suit.

it's nice for someone to make a stand like that and say, my body is good the way it is. kudos to keira for that. the real thing is, though, i wonder how many magazines are going to cover this information, or is it just going to be an afterthought (somewhere after the thought 'did she get a breast reduction?'). i recognize it's all over google and the celeb dish blogs, but i'm talking about the kids.

i would love for a girls' magazine to cover this, interview her, and let her be that role model. i want to see it in Elle Girl, in CosmoGirl, in Seventeen, in YM. disappointing to just have it fall by the wayside, covered by us folks intrigued by advertising and photoshop, and not the folks who should be sending the message.

it's 3:30 am. know where your Riot is?

well, i was not disappointed. batman was badass. go see it. twice.

i have an all-day shoot today so i won't be able to update. i just got back from the midnight showing. this is my dedication to you. at threefuckingthirty am.

if you're being a night owl, check out this awesome review/compilation of the Dark Knight marketing. browse the sites. be a little less... serious. EDIT: yeah, it pwned this weekend. i saw it twice. next stop: IMAX.

first impressions. om nom nom nom.

random smattering of thoughts. more structured posts to follow. i'm vocal today.

RANDOM: Om Nom Nom Nom
this site, despite my best efforts, has assimilated my life.
i do indeed now say "om nom nom nom" with surprising frequency. never underestimate the power of boredom, sleepiness, late work afternoons, and Microsoft Paint. it's like lolcats version 1.5, if you don't count manbabies.com (and i certainly don't).

FILM: The Strangers
advertising decent enough to get me to go.
however, after conclusions of the movie, tamara still "isn't there." in fact, tamara isn't even mentioned again. who the fuck is tamara? and more over, what did she do with the plot of this movie? because it doesn't exist. way to go for a suspenseful let down. as in, a suspenseful lack of plot arc, motive, and, dare i say, creativity.
prove me wrong. please, somehow validate that 12 bucks i won't get back.

FILM: Kill the Sequels
an uncountable number of sequels you really didn't need to know were occurring. or rather, you could know--but why? lemme go with... i will likely never go see nearly any of these. you could sell me on shrek 4 & 5 (i'm a sucker), the grudge 3 (i'll see any shitty scary movie that comes out; see above), and silent hill 2 (because i liked the 1st one). cars 2? for real? why? [watch. there'll be a Strangers 2. -headdesk-]

ADVERTISING: Change Lingerie
a campaign i think i like. not love, though.
i say "i think" because while i instinctively like the political overtones of the campaign and the aggressive, in-your-face tactic, i'm not sure if it's tasteful. i mean, i think it is? it's odd. it's like one of those things where you feel guilty for liking it. like i think i perhaps shouldn't like it. i'm not sure why. clever, to be sure. caustic? unsure.

ADVERTISING: Bob Garfield, Lasagna?
okay, bad joke, as in, i have shamed myself. regardless.
why the disaffection for cheese? that campaign doesn't offend me enough to get me to stop purchasing cheetos. no, i don't want orange underwear (unless i buy it that way!) and no, i don't think they're very clever commercials. but breeding baby drug lords? come on now. for serious. eat some cheetos and calm down, parents of america. i am losing serious respect for adage by the day.

@dailybiz @thegirlriot - garfield needs readers and no better way to get them than to say something completely ridiculous :)
(he is as wise as he is charismatic.) edit to include his wicked awesome post about this here.