people (&musicians) should say what they mean.

and by that i mean, wouldn't it be funny if what you saw was exactly what you got? perhaps even refreshing. check this video out, courtesy of @johnny_bones, who is awesome at finding funny shit. this video is a good adaptation/translation of "Take On Me." cheers to your afternoons--mine are busy!

tech geeks and halloween

it's never too early to prep for halloween!

this year, i'm the Mad Hatter. last year i was Jessica Rabbit; before then, Helena from MCR [i don't even like MCR].
what have been your past costumes?

and if you're stuck, here are some ideas, haha:

-dress your baby like an iPod.
-paint yourself black and walk around with said baby
-or be trendy! do that with a fake baby.
-t shirt reading "404 costume not found"
-team up! there's mouse, computer chip, and keyboard.
-a P2P pirate with logo of choice on the chest.
-any character from the Alltel commercials
-as any variant of the lolcat and pantheon
-the badger from badgerbadgerbadger

i will add more as i think of them. what are you, or members of your fam, going as?

thou shalt give me a panda.

or, an alternate title: Facebook, not nearly enough glitter.

this seems like a Facebook week, clearly, between the threat of impending homogenization of our wall/feeds and the inability to control the fact that they will now be indexed with Google. so, because i'm in such a PEACHY mood*, i will offer up this funny about the social network deity:

The 10 Commandments of Facebook.

it's actually really funny and worth the read. i enjoy:
4. Thou Shalt Not Use A Wall As A Private Messaging Function
6. Thou Shalt Not Use Stupid Apps
[aka, "How do I know which fart app is right for me?"]
7. Thou Shalt Not Give “Gifts”
[aka, "What does all of this crap have in common? I don't want any of it. (Except that Chinese paper lantern. That looks nice.)"]
If you want to give me a “gift” of some kind - like a butterfly, a pink striped thong, or an adorable panda - give it to me in real life.
Yes, you heard me: give me a panda in real life.

as soon as the ad world offers me something more interesting to comment on, i will stop talking about Facebook. promise. want to change it? send me a tip. i'm tired of Facebook, too. but with everyone talking about either Seinfeld/Gates or Sarah Palin... well, i try not eat the low hanging fruit unless i have a gift from the tree of Wisdom.

*[in other news: i'm in a good mood because i passed my road test! don't hate. i never needed a license before, due to NYC public transport, college campus smallness, and generous high school friends. this is a big accomplishment for me, and i'm really happy. one thing to check off my 43 things list. i suppose i can add 'extend list to 43' while i'm at it.]

branding makes you better in bed.

a funny facebook forward i got
---

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You go up to her and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Direct Marketing.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You approach her to get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Telemarketing.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. Your friend goes to her and says, "Hi, my friend over there is fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Advertising.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You get up, straighten your clothes, approach her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after it drops, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear you're fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's the power of Branding!

let the world decide.

what's better than Paris Hilton as faux-running mate to Obama?

letting the world (agencies?) decide. [see slide 16; i also like 8 & 9, personally.]

TBWA\CHIAT\DAY:


but clearly, that would be a bad idea. incongruent governments and all. so when you actually go to lettheworlddecide.org, you get a "404" error message. one of the funniest i've seen in some time. something something iPhone.

to see other funny 404's, check these (that one's my fave!) out (that one you can refresh for something new, too).

on another note, you can read a recent analysis of Obama's slinking campaign from an ad POV here.
i didn't realize a new slogan right now was that detrimental, but, i am willing to buy it. especially considering Biden.

as promised. Likkr lizenz ... DNI'D!

in this week's installment of Friday Felines, i am sending you over to the List Gods. okay, they're not really gods. they're a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than make lists with usually no more than 4-6 items on them. what kind of a list is that, i ask you? not an action list, that's for sure!

from here, Selected Minutes From Lolcat City Council Meetings:

We'z on ur lawn, fynin' ur i sor.

I can haz lodin' zone?

Stait'z in r skoolz, jerrymandrin' r diztrix!

I haz angree at skaytborderz!

We'z in ur biz, surchin' 4 bak taxz.

Y r kidz duso por on standrdiz'd testz? I blaymz skoolz!

Likkr lizenz ... DNI'D!

in truth, the funniest i've found of these lists has nothing to do with cats. and i won't get into the fact that the above list actually uses pretty shitty lolcatspeak (if an invented language can have rules--oh wait it can). what i actually mean when i say i love you: 30 scenarios. c'mon, own up: which of those have you said in subtitles? i know i'm guilty of:

-I approve of your behavior at this moment.
-I know you need assurances that I feel the same way about you.
-That is the exact CD I wanted to hear.

felines later. don draper now.

i'm busy at work on deadline (friday deadlines ftw!), but this made my morning, so i'm sharing. i'll get around to feline friday later today. xxo!

What Would Don Draper Do?

"I don't care. I'm a white male. Election results don't affect me."

cool things to check out.

if you do nothing else today, you must wander on over to miss Jane's blog and view the special on "The Stopping Occasion." i'd post it here, but then i'd be stealing. so i'll borrow with credit. check out the absolute hilarity if you haven't heard about it already. oh, and if that's not enough for you, try out a youtube version of Choose Your Own Adventure (courtesy of adverblog). i was going to save it for Feline Friday, since it has to do with finding a cat named Sparta, but you get lucky this time.

be sure to stick your nose in or around all the fun cameras in the Plaid van. the tour is in full swing; i've followed them through Vancouver and Seattle so far (digitally speaking). i even got to listen to Bill pick radio stations. i was envious of the Canadian view, but even more jealous of their trip to Jones Soda. i love the Cream Soda best. they promised to drink one for me. you can tweet them, AIM them, and any number of other dirty-sounding social networking actions. ...PS >> if you didn't notice, even their social media tour shirts are dirty. can anyone say "tires"? hee! (thanks, greg, for loan of your photo!)

AdFreak. yes, as in the blog. they're on fire these past few days with some really interesting posts. if you're not a frequent reader, you should just dash on over there for a few minutes and peruse the latest stuff. full disclosure: no, they did not ask me to do this. i really just enjoyed it that much. so apparently did johnny (every time i type his name, i hear Poe's Angry Johnny in my head).

for you typography geeks out there.

here here. i know you exist. this one's for you. MAILBOX.

i got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell!

...or more geetar, baby, yeah. need a way to liven up your party? these are ridiculous. ridiculously fun. i got turned on when a random package from Amazon showed up on my doorstep. turned out my friend Lissa felt the need to make my kitchen amusing. or at least my alcohol. package your ice and start a conversation.

the "cool jazz" set not your thing? not Lissa's, either. she sent me the bling bling. because i'm a scene queen like that. it's really cool--they're rubber molds you fill with water and pop out. very easy. i think it'd be awesome to walk into a bar and have them serve you with odd mini ice sculptures. i'm thinking Absolut should capitalize (and i don't even like Absolut).

other floating fun includes the pirate edition, gin & titonic (watch out for the iceberg!), and the really super awkward dentures (i don't get it, either). they also do stirrers in stars and fruit. but if you're really boring, or just looking for more straight-up fun, they also sell ice shotglasses.

all courtesy of worldwidefred.com

ridiculous laws. pringles are cake?

so in honor of this ridiculous law that may qualify pringles as cake, reported by ian tait here, i have decided to do up a post to make you giggle in the coming AM. laws you didn't know you didn't know.

the newest: indecent exposure.
how many times have you seen (or been) that kid with the pants hanging low and a surreptitious inch of boxer showing? i confess to raise my hand. NO MORE! says Michigan. they are cracking down (pun intended) with the help of a cop named Dick (no joke, i couldn't write this any better). check it out. too much boxer and you're suspended. or in need of suspenders. i bet Mr. Dick has images of Denis Leary's "under-fuckin-wear" skit dancing through his dreams.

the oldest: and more.
- Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane.
- In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
- It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
- In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.
- In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.
- In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.
- In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.
- In San Francisco, there is an ordinance, which bans the picking up and throwing of used confetti.
- In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.
- In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light

focus on: the rut.

a late afternoon funny. because i love English. and graffiti.



you'd better believe you can see more funny, inappropriately titled cartoons here at the rut. look for the one with the rabbits.
yeah... you know which one i'm talking about. hahaha.

xox,
a girl who's mad as rabbits.

a new habit. distracting you.

alright, so it seems in addition to Friday Felines, i offer links worthy of friday distraction. i can do that. i'm often distracting--and distracted.

in the theme of zombies, you can now find out how long you would last trapped in your own home. or office. or cubicle. or where ever you call home. i'm a little disturbed that they account for pets, but hey. i can survive 87 days. however, i would only feed 10 zombies. you say tomato, i say cannibal. both are some form of human eating me. state of death isn't vital.

on to felines!
let's start with different interpretations of zombie cats.
inspirational zombie cat. postcard zombie cat. zombie lolcat. and my personal favourite zombie lolcat here.

got a zombie cat picture? send it my way. in the meanwhile, i'm going to continue doing actual work, and post something of relative substance later.

how agencies are surviving zombie takeovers.

working in advertising, as jane points out, often requires the master of an escape plan.

i agree. keeping your heard above water requires focus undoubted on something larger than the agency to which oneself belongs. while jane recommends Fox news, i think that including the ironic humour that is a staple of the creative aspect of the industry is mandatory. vampires, werewolves, and Iron Man are more pending 2.0 threats than anything Fox news can come up with.

no, you need a zombie plan.
at least 37 or so.

as it happens, zombies are everywhere lately. no, not in the cubicle next to you--though perhaps.
with the assistance of twitter, we learned that an escape plan is no longer good enough. case in point: kensingtonvictoria.com. i particularly enjoy the supersoaker technique.

my at-work zombie plan involves rifling through my Big Dictionary of Death whereafter i learn not only are zombies technically undead, but they do not flinch at big words like antepenultimate. the next resource would be the grab the nearest Windows PC and throw it in hopes of having the zombie contract any number of viruses and trojans.

in the event that those means only aid in an enhanced zombie virus and the desire to copulate without birth, i will splash the great killer of ideas all over the zombies: burnt coffee. running henceforth from my agency, i will run wildly into the street, discovering it looks like an atom bomb hit. reaching for anything sharp, i will run with scissors to the autobody shop is just 2 stores down. a crowbar is my friend.

by that time, all of these posters will undoubtedly be on every telephone pole.

...and that is my zombie plan.
only 36 more to go.

challenge me! taking World of Advertising to the streets... err blogs.

[longest blog post title evarrrrr]

Creative Beef has taken agency fun and games to the next level: BATTLE. mwuaha. in the spirit of a certain mmorpg, adhack brings you World of Advertising. click for all the different classes, from CD to AE.

on Dear Jane Sample, Jane and i are putting that game to work. she asked for a challenger, and so now we are comment-battling (for what prize, i have no idea. someone level us up? haha). amusing nonetheless.

she nearly slew me with her Shaolin Jargon:
[...]they won’t pay for that” which slowly brings you back to reality. But to restore goodwill, I will let you present your “best idea ever” to the client … as long as you deliver to me what I asked for in the brief. Oh and you don’t get and extension.

i rebutted Tiger Style with a near-fatal:
[...]it’s the “they won’t pay for that” which causes the damage. we don’t want the Creative Vision ruined by Shitty Production (booo, hisssss). so we drink some english tea which enhances our Ability to Work Under Pressure (+5 which combined with Free Pizza), enabling us to Meet Brief 2 Minutes Before Deadline.

who will win? only time will tell. want to do battle? leave me a comment! get creative.

first impressions. om nom nom nom.

random smattering of thoughts. more structured posts to follow. i'm vocal today.

RANDOM: Om Nom Nom Nom
this site, despite my best efforts, has assimilated my life.
i do indeed now say "om nom nom nom" with surprising frequency. never underestimate the power of boredom, sleepiness, late work afternoons, and Microsoft Paint. it's like lolcats version 1.5, if you don't count manbabies.com (and i certainly don't).

FILM: The Strangers
advertising decent enough to get me to go.
however, after conclusions of the movie, tamara still "isn't there." in fact, tamara isn't even mentioned again. who the fuck is tamara? and more over, what did she do with the plot of this movie? because it doesn't exist. way to go for a suspenseful let down. as in, a suspenseful lack of plot arc, motive, and, dare i say, creativity.
prove me wrong. please, somehow validate that 12 bucks i won't get back.

FILM: Kill the Sequels
an uncountable number of sequels you really didn't need to know were occurring. or rather, you could know--but why? lemme go with... i will likely never go see nearly any of these. you could sell me on shrek 4 & 5 (i'm a sucker), the grudge 3 (i'll see any shitty scary movie that comes out; see above), and silent hill 2 (because i liked the 1st one). cars 2? for real? why? [watch. there'll be a Strangers 2. -headdesk-]

ADVERTISING: Change Lingerie
a campaign i think i like. not love, though.
i say "i think" because while i instinctively like the political overtones of the campaign and the aggressive, in-your-face tactic, i'm not sure if it's tasteful. i mean, i think it is? it's odd. it's like one of those things where you feel guilty for liking it. like i think i perhaps shouldn't like it. i'm not sure why. clever, to be sure. caustic? unsure.

ADVERTISING: Bob Garfield, Lasagna?
okay, bad joke, as in, i have shamed myself. regardless.
why the disaffection for cheese? that campaign doesn't offend me enough to get me to stop purchasing cheetos. no, i don't want orange underwear (unless i buy it that way!) and no, i don't think they're very clever commercials. but breeding baby drug lords? come on now. for serious. eat some cheetos and calm down, parents of america. i am losing serious respect for adage by the day.

@dailybiz @thegirlriot - garfield needs readers and no better way to get them than to say something completely ridiculous :)
(he is as wise as he is charismatic.) edit to include his wicked awesome post about this here.

revenge of the lolcat.

you know you want it.

so here it is.
the world's largest lolcat.

...thanks, @nathantwright. i think. ;)

back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Top 9 Animals

...Preferred by Tweeting Advertisers Following Me.
[as if that wasn't enough qualifiers, right?]

as those who follow me on Twitter know, i often pose a "question of the day." because Riot is a naturally curious creature who enjoys opinions. and i would not have even made this post, except the product today was greatly amusing. not to mention, top-10 lists get mentioned, and this doesn't really need to be mentioned, heh. plus, i like the number 9 better.

in order of most votes, and then, by alphabetical:

if you could (without threat to your mortality or the endangered species list) befriend any animal for your own, which would you choose?

#9: Whale [@johnny_bones]
#8: Trent Reznor [@strawberrycough]
#7: Tiger [@thegirlriot]
#6: Shark [@dailybiz]
#5: Polar Bear [@HookEmSarah]
#4: Panda [@griner]
#3: Lemur [@mtlb]
#2: Anubis [@demandjustice]

...#1: Platypus! [@beatrixmarie @mugs]


from this, we can deduce that we are either strange, cuddly, aquatic, or want to kill you. i suppose that's about right.

feeling under-represented? cast your personal animal vote here! heh. peace out for the day!