because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely.

a new installment of Funny After 5... for last minute giggles.

at first, my new favourite blog for distractions (The Daily Digresser) brought this little gem up in the left hand column and it was a total throwback to zombie week, where Jane and i told you that you needed at least 37 zombie plans to survive working in an ad agency. but in case you gave in and decided zombie plans aren't for you--maybe you're just keen on becoming a zombie--well then, my friends, eternity doesn't have to be so lonely. for you, there is www.zombiEharmony.com.

what's that you say? you yourself are not a zombie? ...are you even undead? maybe you're one of those pansy Twilight fans who wish you had a werewolf and a vampire to swoon over. that's okay, there's a site for you, too. from Campfire, the folks behind HBO's TruBlood campaign, there's the vampire dating microsite, dedicated to hooking blood dolls up with their dream vamps. g'head, go get Lovebitten, at least more than you already do via SuperPoke on Facebook.

[friendly warning: if you do sign up, be sure to give accurate thought to your screenname.]

revolution, inc. :: in a name.

so some folks have already been coaxing me out of anonymity, a leap i'm not quite ready to make yet--but don't let that dissuade you from any fancy invitations you may want to be sending my direction ;) contact information doesn't change. but, in light of this, i've always been, well, a tease. rather than tell you all about me... i'm going to do scattered posts about facets of myself. what i like or don't, what i own or won't, where i come from, what i eat--whatever brings you closer to me.

think of it like a scavenger hunt. or a riddle.
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so like anything else, i'm going to start at the middle, because it's more interesting than the beginning.

we'll start with the name, because someone asked me about it yesterday. naming is an intensely important thing. naming has always held weight. and still does. why call the "me series" revolution, inc? it ties in with the essential question;

why Riot?

i have been called Riot, in real life, since high school. and no--it has nothing to do with Paramore; i predate their second album, thank you very much. i had a guy friend then who introduced himself to me as Tony Rebel. he had me going for a minute, but not for long.

i adopted Riot as my pseudonym surname then, selecting the word because i'm really into riot grrrl music, a female-emphasized development out of punk rock in the early to mid 90s. i love Kathleen Hanna (see image above) who was in most notably Bikini Kill, Le Tigre, and Julie Ruin. she helped/inspired Slim Moon to make Kill Rock Stars, a notable indie label even today. (did you know Nirvana was on it for a hot minute?)

the movement meant a lot to me in high school, and still does. i did research on it in college, actually, surrounding commercialism, capitalism and the consumerism (or lack therof) of riot grrrl music (like how punk rock was appropriated, but not riot grrrl). "revolution grrrl style now" was a mantra used. in college, i used my name with the Riot surname as my DJ name for the radio station, 92WICB.

since switching my focus from band management/PR to English/marketing my freshman year, Riot was recreated in accord with my views on branding. while creating a story character i fell in love with, who was a DJ, i inverted "the riot grrrl" to be "the girl Riot" (i wasn't big on the grrr, personally)--and it stuck. and so, i'm the first to coin the phrase.

oh hey, yeah, you know--that girl, Riot? that girl called Riot. her.

so i became the girl Riot™. i treat myself as a brand, both professionally and often personally; so, in line with that, i go by Riot rather than my given name. if you Googled me, you would find more information searching "thegirlriot" than my actual name. no joke.

...so now you know.

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and besides, it's a friday post. who reads those, anyway?

a-HA! no wonder i fail at internet dating

not like i was trying in the first place, since i'm in a relationship that was the product of a face-to-face encounter. and no, i'm not bashing. i'm just saying i'd be godawful at internet dating if these are the rules.

last time i checked, names like “fun2bwith” or “i’msweet” made me think a person was hella desperate and had nothing further unique about them other than "i swear i'll adjust my personality to fit yours if you'll only give me a chance."

and “cutie” or “blueeyes” makes me believe you are assuredly not. it's like those sweatpants with "cutie" on your ass. either you look good in them and are trying too hard, or you shouldn't have put them on to begin with. especially because, while i'm all for self-esteem boosting, you can't boost from your bum. or in this case, your username. at some point, the cat will get out of the bag, and i'm skeptical from the get-go.

how names like those ranked at the top of preferred username lists for 'net dating makes me sad. you would rather go on a blind date with 45 guys (or girls) called "sweet4u" or some variation than, say, something USEFUL like... "pomolover" or "kanyerocks" or, hell, anything that tells me you have an opinion on something.

excerpt:
Males daters said they would be less likely to contact screen names such as “wellread” or “welleducated”, although the study found women were more drawn to names that suggested men were cultured.

SOME MALE PLEASE CHIME IN AND DEFEND YOUR XY GENES.
because somehow that does not surprise me.

and yet, while users seem to understand the nature of deceit, ie, "it seems they are well aware people embellish themselves online and it makes them suspicious," in the case of using wealthy usernames like "wealthyandwise", somehow "cutie" and "hotstuff" don't hold up to the same scrutiny?

...yeah, okay.

this is "houseofleaves" signing off.
and KUDOS if you get that reference.