devil in the details: dunkin over starbucks?

now, if there's only one thing i learned in college about math--and i do believe there is only one thing i learned in college about math, actually--it's that numbers can be skewed to say preeeeetty much whatever you want. it was a class called Numeracy but instead of something out of Harry Potter, and though we did play with card decks, it was useful. analyzing statistics changed my world view.

something said in the commercial got me thinking: "hard working Americans." [disclosure: i fucking hate coffee. i can't drink it. i hate starbucks coffee and dunkin' donuts coffee. keep them both. so this is a completely impartial standpoint on the Coffee Wars. please hand me an Earl Grey.] in my head i'm already saying: this qualifier is interesting and where can i get the stats on the actual study?

surprisingly, NOT on the related web site, where the hoo-ha is the usual BS about south american beats and slow roasted whateverthefuck. after 5 mins of Googling, i came up with this link, which cites it was an independent double-blind involving "476 adults, each of whom had consumed regular, hot brewed coffee within the past week" in "10 cities."

honestly, if i cared a whole lot, the next questions i'd be asking are: what cities? what demographics? what are their jobs/income levels? what does 'city' mean? it's no secret that starfucks is more expensive and a status symbol. if you're polling New York City CEOs, i think your numbers will be skewed elsewhere. i'm not saying the study is fuxxor--i'm just saying having a study at all may be misleading unless this information is further qualified. i want to know there's an even split between people more likely to drink starbucks as those likely to drink DD.

i just threw away 8 bucks.

and i'm hella pissed about it.

see, i came in really early to work today due to circumstances of my life and the inane scheduling of the LIRR trains. so to kill an hour and inject caffeine (which i normally don't do...) i figured i'd sacrifice my better judgment and head on in to Starfucks.

also against my better judgment, i decided to get a coffee derivative. usually i forgo all such nonsense in favour of the blended lemonade with raspberry (which is the only Starfucks thing i'm currently not cranky about), but i figured, of all mornings, today was a mocha frapp morning.

i had memories of high school. when they used to be good.
or when i was stupid enough to think so.

for real. do they burn everything? even cold stuff? i don't get it. I JUST THREW OUT a frapp. that's right. i couldn't even swallow it. i tried. i had a moral dilemma past FOUR trash cans. it was so expensive to throw out. but i could not. could not drink it. strike two?

those fruit platter bullshits. strawberry kiwi mango. the kiwi was weird, the strawberries were glazed with i have no fucking idea what, and the mango wasn't even ripe (read: edible). needless to say, didn't eat that either, and threw it out. oh, and the barista was a bitch and had her own deal going on.

I AM CRANKY ABOUT MY MORNING EXPERIENCE.
is it too much to ask for some sensible caffeine?? clearly.
at least i'm not the only one. the sad thing? they gave me a coupon for a $2 cold drink provided i use it this afternoon. i may do it. just so i can get this godawful taste out of my mouth. how in the hell this came out of Seattle and into the rest of the world, i will never know.

stupid advertising, stupid protests.

i love advertising. i also love protesting. i've protested many a thing in many a strange fashion (or state of unfashion, as the case may have been! bwuahaha, oh crazy times in NYC. anyway.).

i hate stupid advertising. i'm not saying piss-poor advertising where you know the budget wasn't high. i'm saying advertising without a thought process. incongruent advertising. hate that. hate hate hate. (take that twistori <3)

but i hate stupid protesting more. if that's even possible. like for example this shining gem for america's "offical" language. but okay. mistakes happen. even really stupid mistakes happen.

but one that shows you carefully thought out being stupid? FAIL.

this i found while browsing Adages, which always is or finds stupid things.

excerpt:
Mark Dice and his group -- which calls itself -- "The Resistance" will be boycotting Starbucks for its sluttly mermaid. "The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute," explains Dice in his press release. "Need I say more? It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks."

[...]The mermaid's boobies are covered by her hair. As she is a mermaid, she ain't got no legs to spread. (Though Dice claims she is a Siren, not a mermaid).

errr, Dice? ...do you even know what a siren is?
...cos they are freakin' half-bird women. so sure, yeah, they could spread 'em if they liked--except that part's usually avian. and even if you want to get happy and make it a chick with wings, the Starbucks logo clearly isn't wings. clearly. it could be many things, but unless you failed a Rorschach test, it's certainly not wings. and don't give me that a siren and a mermaid are the same thing. they're not. even if they were, that would be an even stupider reason for Dice to use the "siren" tag as a defense of his extensive foray into moronic representation. if you can't get your mythology straight, check it with someone who can. seriously.