interlude: i am a wannabe british type.

[an interlude, not about advertising, but about my psychosis.]

as if you couldn't tell by the way i have what some might consider too many "l"s in my words, or an extraneous "u" here or there, and my infatuation with the word "bloody." blame monty python. i don't care.

it's alright.
the secret's out.

but, dailybiz, this one's for you. a glimpse into just how anal i am.

for an experiment, i have changed my usual date formatting (08.05.08) to another one, wherein the month appears first (05.08.2008).

i do not claim to keep it. there are way too many numbers. it bothers me. not as much as every other format, which is why i'm experimenting at your suggestion. but it's just... so uneven! ideally i'd take 05.08.08, but no suck luck. and yes, i need the "."s. they're authentic to my self-representation. i don't like slashes.

so there it is then.
ridiculous Riot thoughts.
and how much you really didn't need to know that i'd actually thought about it.

i really want you to be my friend.

you, right there--i want you to be my follow-friend. i think we have many things in common. we share similar tastes in music. i find your tweets to be funny and informative. your style in clothing rocks my socks. i'm jealous of your profession. i feel that i can contribute to the conversations you tend to have. aren't you at all curious?

i can't tell someone on twitter how much i really think we should talk, even if i wanted to.

because if i follow you, and you don't follow me back, i can't DM (direct message) you and tell you i'm not creepy. that i'm not a spambot. and that i'm actually interested in what you have to say. even if you're not interested in what i'm tweeting about, that extra mile might ensure some form of open communication. you know, one of the points of twitter, right?

i completely understand about not accepting followers you don't know or who aren't friends of your friends (and thus you don't get 'recommendation points'). the internets are a creepy place. but if you're on a connective medium, if i go the extra mile, wouldn't you maybe want to talk to me? even just a preliminary chat to feel out whether or not i take it back and actually think you're a douchebag?

my point is: you can DM only those who are following you. what about the other direction of communication?

there IS a block button. if you hate me that much, you CAN block me. it's not like letting me DM anyone i want is an automatic death threat. some people get way too many follows a day. naturally they may not want to add you. moreover, many people don't get notifications, and won't know if you've added them (and that they may possibly want to add you back). replying @them doesn't help unless they click their 'Replies' mask, as non-followed people don't show up in the main feed.

i could follow you, really want to contribute, and you could never know i even exist. not even in an emo way. in a programming way. and if there's no accessible email, blog, etc, then the whole thing seems rather silly. just saying. i'm not suggesting the followee/follower ratio be mandated, like with Facebook, where it has to be mutual. i respect your choice not to follow me. but i'd like a fair shot. why can't I DM? it's like the elevator pitch of friendship. or something.

communication breakdown!

virtual connections, intangible hope

[updated fact adjustment]

i'm beginning premature analysis and first impressions of thoughts surrounding Twistori, a project by Amy Hoy and Thomas Fuchs inspired by the previous We Feel Fine applet. i began using it the other day.

[/updated fact adjustment]

i am in love with these sites. i think i find them reassuring in a personal way without feeling intrusive. when i read "#I believe that the secrets of life are at the bottom of my coffee mug. I must investigate," i don't need to know who wrote it, how old they are, where they're from, or how they identify.

i find connection because it is a familiar thought consideration (belief) in a familiar sentiment (in unexpected places) with a personal addition ('i must investigate'). the phrase offers me comfort. i can commiserate and appreciate it. in the same way that i can appreciate, "#I love grapefruit...it tastes like Summer" and "#I HATE YOU STAPLER, HATE HATE."

simple phrases (i love, i hate, i think, i believe, i feel, i wish) are some of the most intrinsic building blocks for opening communication between two people because it at once shows a vulnerability (telling something about oneself) at the same time as offering it up for empathy (chances are you can relate to most of what appears).

but what does this mean?

it means i can reach out to people and find reassurance without their knowing it. without having to consider how they might feel about how i feel about their words. it's a selfish act of self-therapy, to, at its basest, simply know i'm not alone. i can know that i share so many things with so many people i've never met, and moreover, never have to meet.

i don't need to share my life story with them on Facebook chat. i can take it at face value and appreciate the common threads of human existence, which make me feel small and part of a larger whole, but in a reassuring way rather than a depressing one. it's not complex enough that i have to start asking myself deeper analytical questions about the nature of the statements.

i can just watch the world unfold around me in this faux sense of digital peace. it's pixelated zen. connection without judgment or responsibility. i'm not saying it forgoes human interaction, but it helps as a mental supplement. i don't know if this is the product of an internet disconnected generation, finding connections without faces, or if this is a human instinct to want to feel.

"#I believe this week is killing me."
and i just think we can all use a little zen.

[this will likely be considered again the more i dwell on and use Twistori.]

speaking of graffiti...

why should the Internets be any different?

rock on, Atmosphere. rock on. good music and good fun!

what would you creatively vandalize if given the chance?

me, i made an homage to my alma mater.

@dailybiz, thanks for referring a good time ;)

Lovefool: 1: TWLOHA.

this is the first official post of project Lovefool, wherein i promised i would:
"post about how much i love your brand. why i love your brand. and how much i'm willing to talk about how much i love your brand."

target #1: To Write Love on Her Arms.

why you should care:
unless you're entirely apathetic, have never been depressed, have never known anyone who was depressed, was never a child, never had children, and hate teenagers, you should help this cause. from their FAQ:
Q.What is To Write Love on Her Arms?
A. TWLOHA is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
Q: How did TWLOHA start?
A: To Write Love on Her Arms began in Orlando, FL in February 2006 as a (written) story, the true story of five days spent with a friend who was denied entry into a drug treatment center. The story was a look at those five days, and the t-shirts were printed and sold initially as a way to pay for our friend's treatment.

why i love them:
the phrase "to write love on her arms" directly responds to the tendency of many young girls(/people) to cut their arms with razors (for a multitude of reasons). having helped many of my friends through this in our teenage years, and, having had my younger (HS aged) brother recently ask me why his friends were cutting, i believe that this organization is doing a great thing. it's giving hope and voice to a situation previously beyond (what we felt was in) our control.

how much i'm willing to talk about how much i love them:
i bought 2 tee shirts and a button pack to help fund them ($35 +S&H) so i can wear the message and talk about it in real life. i tweeted about it earlier today, and now i'm writing a blog post about it, hoping to get others to also see the value in the endeavor. to help lift up the young folks that many of our firms target for the next it-toy. as self-value plummets in teenage years leading to a multitude of situations, some created by the very media we sell, the least you can do is buy a button pack ($5) and speak up when someone asks you what "to write love on her arms" means on your stylish ironic tee shirt. please spread the word.

how much i love them/aka/the backstory:
! i first saw the phrase on "to write love on her arms" a tee shirt of a random person photographed online via google. as a poet and lover of words, the phrase stuck with me. i simply liked it. i decided that i was going to, at a later point when i had funds, scour the internet for whatever that shirt was a purchase one.

! before i could acquire the funds to do that, i had been saving up for this past weekend, where i went to the 2 day music festival Bamboozle with my friend Amanda of @reverieapparel. i was pretty much a scene queen for 2 days. it was wicked awesome. anyway.

! while i was there, i saw a shitload of young scene kids wearing these shirts. i had no idea why. i'd never seen one in real life before. confused, i turned to Amanda, who knew of my previous love of the shirt, and said, "wtf?" basically.

! Amanda told me that she had 2 or 3 of the shirts herself and that it was actually a product of a non profit organization dedicated to helping people in need battle depression, addiction, and all the malevolent behaviors that go with it. that made me love it more.

lines of intrigue. things to think about.

1] Facebook helps raise a revolt, inadvertently of course. "Egyptians are using the online social networking tool Facebook to defy the government's attempt to muzzle the media and hush recent incidents of police brutality during a strike by workers in a town in the Nile Delta." rock on. one more positive aspect, right up there with the kid who used Twitter to get out of a foreign jail by tweeting "arrested"--and, more personally, when a kid went missing at my alma mater last weekend and the cops wouldn't do anything about it for 72 hours, the kids organized search parties and raised awareness via Facebook.

2] in other news, New York doesn't need any more bloody taxes, give me a break. i hope the bill goes down in flames.

3] also, i can't decide, at all. what book would you save? if you could reinvent the canon, decide that for the future THESE were the books that would matter, what would your canon look like?

some of my choices:
- to kill a mockingbird
- fight club
- house of leaves
- written on the body
- the great gatsby
- lord of the flies
- brave new world
- alice's adventures in wonderland

will revisit this when i get home and look at my bookshelf. i am not including works of poetry, plays, or anthologies. because then it would be even longer, as i love poetry and drama. like copenhagen and arcadia.

4] i love this. i love it i love it i love it. i love it so much that i can't even readily articulate why exactly i love it so much. i'm sure i will analyze and get back to you. must sit and ponder and draw connections and relate and commiserate. yes.

down with the sickness

hey all, sorry for the s i l e n c e.

NyQuil and i were in the middle of a committed (8hr/2pill/x4) relationship.

now that the honeymoon phase is over, i am host to opinions again.
will update shortly. <3